


just tell me how you feel (tell me what you think)

by thepistolgirl (orphan_account)



Series: the big apple bites, but baby so do i [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: (Mentions of) Infidelity, (Mentions of) The Break Up, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awesome Burt Hummel, Episode: s04e10 Glee Actually, Family Feels, Hummel Family Focused, Kurt Hummel Deserves Nice Things, M/M, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, Other, Past Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Season 4 Episode 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 01:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14606382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/thepistolgirl
Summary: Kurt stopped short and released a slow breath. He pulled his bottom lips between his teeth before starting to talk again. “I had to go pick something up, my dad had a present for me.”Sebastian’s eyes fell down to his glove-covered hands that held nothing. Kurt was quick to put them in the pockets of his coat as he saw the pointed looking Sebastian gave him.“I didn’t want it. It’s okay, my Dad said to return it if it wasn’t for me.”circa ep10





	just tell me how you feel (tell me what you think)

**Author's Note:**

> *arrives almost a year late with starbucks* waddup anyone that's still around, how's it hangin?
> 
> you can all thank NikiJuly17th for this actually coming out this decade, as they somehow found me on a whole different fanfiction that i'd commented on, where they commented on my own comment bein all chill and "whaddup where you at?", which, _dedication._  
>  honestly before that i didn't think there was anyone who actually cared about these lil stories of mine, but that got me to finish this 3k mess
> 
> note: this is very much focused on kurt&burt's relationship, because it was handled really terribly and ooc after season 3, and there's no way i believe that burt knew what blaine did, and _still_ flew him out to NY. there is still kurtbastian here obviously, but it is not the main focus of this particular instalment :]
> 
> title: talk is overrated by jeremy zucker
> 
> obviously not beta-read and it's 1:15am, so any mistakes are my own

“Package for Kurt Hummel!” 

At the sound of his name coming from behind him, Kurt span on his heel to see whoever apparently needed his attention when he was taking part in a Hummel Family Tradition. Seeing Blaine there, his ex-boyfriend who had only so recently tore his heart in half, was not what he expected. Sure, he was getting over him well enough but that didn’t mean he was ready for spontaneous meet-ups, or any kind of meet-up at all really.

 “Blaine?” he spoke, shock lacing his tone.

“Surprise!” Blaine exclaimed as Kurt started taking steps towards him. “Your Dad called me out of the blue and wanted to fly me out here just so I could see that look on your face and it’s pretty priceless. Actually he told me everything and ...”

Kurt stopped still as the words hit him, any trace of emotion dropping from his face. His Dad had told Blaine, before him? He had told the guy that Kurt wasn’t even dating anymore, before he told his own son, about a serious medical diagnosis?

“… an eye on him for you. But …”

Kurt wasn’t really listening to any of the words being spoken at him as he ducked his head and began to fiddle with his glove. This was his first Christmas in New York, he’d just gotten into NYADA for fucks’ sake and _this_ is what had to happen? Weirdly he had thought that meeting Sebastian again, the dick from the start of his senior year of high school, and being able to not only get along with him, but get drunk with him and not be left for dead on the street, had meant something positive. Like, that his life was perking up after the shitty previous months, or he was changing for the better, into an improved version of himself.

Now, standing in the freezing cold in New York City, the city that had given him his dream, he suddenly felt like he was back in high school, where he was overlooked time and time again, always for his ‘gold-star gay’ boyfriend.

“… are happy to see me, right?”

Kurt looked back up at the question that was now hanging in the air. What was he meant to say to that? “ _Oh yes Blaine, I’m overjoyed to see you here when I’ve just started getting my life back in order after you screwed everything up by not being satisfied enough with your left hand. It’s not like I just found out my Dad has goddamn cancer or anything, no matter how treatable it is.”_

Fuck that.

“Actually, no. I’m not happy to see you.” Kurt watched as Blaine’s facial expression began to dribble into shock and sadness, but continued. “I’m finally happy here. I’ve gotten over what you did enough to get on with my life, while I’d like to think that I’m not effected in any way by you being here, I can’t, not after what you did.”

Kurt watched as Blaine’s face began to screw up. “You-! You, left me! You ran to New York the first chance you got, leaving me alone in Lima!”

“We’d been planning for me to leave for months, Blaine, just because it happened under different circumstances doesn’t mean that what you did is okay. Hell, you’re the one that said you wanted me to leave!”

Kurt watched as Blaine’s nostrils flared, jaw clenched as his face got progressively redder. He looked like a grenade, reading to explode whenever his pin was removed, but Kurt refused to be the one to do it. He wasn’t going to put himself through that, not anymore.

“Have a safe flight home.” Kurt murmured as he stepped back and turned away, not caring if the words carried since there wasn’t much sentiment behind them anyway.

“Kurt! You can’t just leave, your Dad organised this!”

As Kurt walked away from the ice rink, Blaine’s last resort at getting him to stay bouncing off his back, Kurt remembered what his Dad had said. _‘You have got to hold the people you love close to you no matter what’_. Was he talking about Blaine when he’d said that? While Kurt wished he hadn’t been, he knew logically that it was likely. His Dad wasn’t cruel in any way, shape or form, so Kurt knew he probably had the best intentions going into this. However, that just meant they needed to talk more about this, at the very least so that he would understand why Kurt didn’t want Blaine to be visiting.

As Kurt turned the corner away from Bryant Park, he felt the chill of the frosty air slide underneath his jacket, the smell of coffee from cafes and street food from the local vendors following his every move. As he thought about stopping to get something to warm himself up, he heard his name being called, and a flash of movement to his left. Before he could turn to look, he was suddenly filled with an eyeful of the last person on his mind.

“Sebastian?”

“Hey, Kurt.” Sebastian’s cheeks were flushed, and while Kurt would’ve thought it from the cold air or maybe some intoxication, the slightly-heavier-than-normal breathing coming from the man indicated that perhaps he had just been in a rush.

 _‘To see me?’_ Kurt thought idly.

“Did you… run over here?” he asked, slightly stunned.

Sebastian’s face froze before he opened his mouth, seemingly to explain, before he shut it again and gained a confused expression on his face that didn’t look to be aimed at Kurt. Technically the situation perhaps wasn’t very funny but Kurt couldn’t help the light laughter that started giggling out of him, Sebastian joining him soon after.

“I guess so. I’m… sorry, I don’t really know why I did that.” His companion explained with a shrug and a chuckle, pushed his fingers through his hair.

“Well, I do have a rather _magnetic_ personality,” Kurt explain with a sarcastic face of innocence before grinning again. “So, what’s up, why’re you here?”

“Some friends and I,” Sebastian paused to point to a group of people further down the block on the other side of the street who Kurt exchanged a small wave with. “We’re heading out for some drinks at this gay bar nearby, _Posh_ or something.” Kurt watched as Sebastian turned his attention back to him. “What about you?”

“I, uh,” Kurt paused. “I’m just grabbing some coffee.” He explained simply.

“Here? Don’t you live in Bushwick?”

Kurt stopped short and released a slow breath. He pulled his bottom lips between his teeth before starting to talk again. “I had to go pick something up, my dad had a present for me.”

Sebastian’s eyes fell down to his glove-covered hands that held nothing. Kurt was quick to put them in the pockets of his coat as he saw the pointed looking Sebastian gave him.

“I didn’t want it. It’s okay, my dad said to return it if it wasn’t for me.”

Kurt wasn’t sure what could’ve been showing on his face that caused Sebastian to step closer, brows furrowed in concern. 

“Hey Sebastian! Hurry up!” The two of them turned to where the voice called from, only to see Sebastian’s friends waiting at the end of the block.

“Hang on!” Sebastian yelled in reply, before moving to rest his hand on Kurt’s arm. “Are you okay? You look a little… off.” He asked quietly, as if any of the people passing them by cared about Kurt enough to listen in to their conversation.

The feeling Kurt had been stuck with, lodged in his chest since he left the ice rink and his ex behind, suddenly expanded. It wasn’t the feeling you get when you’re about to cry or anything, Kurt couldn’t be bothered to waste any more tears on Blaine, but it felt similar to after he had come out to Mercedes, or his Dad, or when Kurt walked into McKinley the morning after winning Nationals his senior year. Not satisfaction, or acceptance, or even relief, but similar.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Kurt smiled, but hated how tight and strained it felt. Apparently, it looked that way too, if the reprimanding look on Sebastian’s face meant anything.

“Okay- you know what? Wait here.” Kurt didn’t get any chance to respond before he was seeing Sebastian’s tall form go bounding down the street towards the group he had left earlier. Kurt watched as he approached them before they seemed to be having a quick conversation. Finally, Sebastian’s friends started disappearing from Kurt’s sight, giving Sebastian a hug or a pat before they separated.

“What the- what are you doing?” he asked when Sebastian had gotten near enough to him again to be able to hear. “Don’t you have a gay bar to get to?”

Sebastian shrugged his shoulders, hands tucked into the pockets of his bomber jacket. “It’ll all still be there tomorrow, twinks and all.” He shot a wink Kurt’s way.

“I… What?” Kurt felt dumb-struck, and must’ve looked it too if the slightly pitying smirk Sebastian shot his way said anything.

“C’mon Hummel, let’s grab some coffee and you can bitch your little gay heart out.”

 

 - - -

 

Kurt watched as his coffee cup hit the rim of a trashcan before bouncing up and into his target. The taste of his mocha still lingered on his tongue, while a smile continued to curve the edge of his lips. Ranting to Sebastian may not have been his plan for that Friday night, but honestly, he was glad that it had ended up that way. Getting your emotions off your chest would always be beneficial to anyone, but having your companion agree with you, making you feel justified and confident? Ultimate satisfaction.

 _‘I can never let Sebastian know that he made me feel like this, he’d never let me live it down.’_ He thought with a chuckle as he walked down to street towards his apart, where his Dad would hopefully still be awake and willing to listen.

After grabbing some coffee to go from a street vendor, Kurt and Sebastian had ended up walking around the city for a lot longer than Kurt thought he could’ve standed with Sebastian back in high school. He was pretty adept at keeping to himself and burying his feelings deep, deep down, but when Sebastian had started bugging and poking at him about ‘opening up to his new friend’ and ‘taking advantage of having someone as generous and accepting as him around’ (which, _seriously_? Idiot meerkat.) it was like a metaphorical dam had shattered, and he found himself spilling every grievance and worry to his friend. And Sebastian had agreed with him! Supported him! Even when Kurt started doubted himself and his emotion, Sebastian had shut it down immediately.

_“You have a right to everything you’re feeling Hummel. You’ve been mistreated and, while maybe I can’t throw stones in this glass house, you deserve a lot better than that.”_

After that, Sebastian had walked him to the nearest subway station to see him off. Maybe Kurt should still be apprehensive about being so chatty and open with someone who used to cause his blood to boil, but he just wasn’t. He was comfortable around Sebastian, and hoped that Sebastian was comfortable around him as well.

Kurt hopped up the steps to the front door of his building and, after jimmying the key around in a way the landlord had said was needed in the colder weather, began his trek up to the loft. As annoying as the eight flights of stairs could be sometimes, he had to admit, the extra cardio would probably benefit him at NYADA, and being admitted a semester later than everyone else meant be needed all the benefits he could get.

“Dad...?” Kurt called out as he slid the door open, and gently latched it shut behind him. “… You still awake?”

“Yeah kiddo, I’m here.” Kurt turned his head to where his Dad was stepping back into his view from behind the separator Kurt and Rachel had put up that was filled with books, DVDs and various knick-knacks. “I wasn’t exactly planning on waiting up for you though, I figured you’d still be out having fun. You not like you present?”

Kurt sighed deeply and started wringing his hands. “No, not really. Actually, I was hoping we could talk about that.” He motioned towards the living room area, and watched as his dad moved there to sit on the couch, following close behind. Instead of sitting next to him, Kurt perched down on the coffee table, wary of the magazines that lay there.

“You okay kid?” Kurt looked up from the lap to see his Dad staring at his, eyebrows furrowed it concern. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yeah, I-I know.” He spoke quietly. He paused for a minute and sat silently before taking in a breath. “Dad, I’m not comfortable having B-Blaine here.”

Kurt watched as his Dad tilted his head to the side, before continuing. “I’m not sure exactly what you know about our b-break up, and I can see now that I should have told you properly, the same way I told Finn.” He really should have, even if it was only over the phone. Sure, Finn was in the city when it happened so he automatically got the information, but that didn’t mean he should’ve kept it from his Dad, even if it wasn’t on purpose.

“Blaine cheated on me, Dad. I don’t know exactly when, and I really don’t know who with, nor do I really want to know, but I do know that it happened and that isn’t something I can forgive, at least not yet.” Kurt paused to see if Burt wanted to give any response, but when the man stayed silent, Kurt took that as his cue to continue. 

“I know you wouldn’t ever want to hurt me or put me through pain, so I’m assuming that you weren’t aware of what happened, or you wouldn’t have organised for Blaine to meet me tonight. If-” Kurt went to continue his words, but got interrupted by a tone he hadn’t heard since his junior year of high school.

“I’m going to _kill_ that son of a bitch.”

Kurt’s head snapped up from its hanging position to stare at his Dad in shock. “Dad, what are you-”

“How goddamn _dare he_ -!”

When his Dad leapt up from his seat, Kurt immediately shot his hand out to grab at his arm, holding him in place. He didn’t think his Dad would actually go yelling into the streets of New York late at night with the aim of tracking someone down, but hell hath no fury like a Burt Hummel whose family hath been scorned.

“Dad! Stop!”

“Are you serious Kurt? You’re trying to stop me after what that scumbag put you through?”

“No, I-! I just wanted to talk with you about this.” Kurt watched as Burt’s chest, previously broad in anger, deflated when he saw the expression on his son’s face. “Trust me; I’m just as mad about this as you are, or at least I used to be when it was still raw, but I’m getting better, really.”

“…You are?”

“Yeah, gradually. Plus, you’re my Dad and I want to talk to you about this kind of stuff, even if it’s not a nice topic.”

Burt raised a hand that he rested on his son’s shoulder, happy to see the smile that the action brought on. _‘I would burn down the world for my boy.’_ He thought. “Well okay then. Why don’t I go make up some Hummel Hot Cocoa and we can talk as much as you need, okay?”

Kurt nodded, a grin stretching out on his face as he felt the bloom in his chest at the overwhelming familial love he was constantly being given by his father. He would be the first to admit it, they were as different as a father and son could be, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t understand, love and comfort each other.

“Hey, Kiddo?”

Kurt looked up with a light hum at his Dad’s quiet, serious calling.

“I just need to say this now; I am so sorry that I caused you to experience pain tonight, however close to being over it you feel like you are. I’m your father, and my number one priority is and will always be to make sure you are happy and healthy, no matter what.”

Kurt sighed, raising his own hand to rest over his father’s that still lay on his shoulder. “Dad, this wasn’t your fault. You didn’t cause me any pain, you thought you were making me happy, like you said. This isn’t on you.”

Kurt watched as a range of emotions crossed over his father’s face. Shock, sorrow, relief and adoration, before finally settling on pure and unadulterated pride, so clear that Kurt could almost feel it mending every scrape and bruise his heart had ever had to endure.

Burt moved his hand from beneath Kurt’s to cradle his son’s cheek. “If only your mother could see you right now, living your life to the fullest. She’d be even prouder than I am, if that were humanly possible.” He watched as Kurt’s mouth dropped open slightly at the mention of his mother, someone they hardly brought up anymore (something they clearly had to change), and his baby blue eyes shone like he was close to tears. The sight hit Burt like a freight train, and he was quick to smile at Kurt.

“Now, le’ me go get that hot chocolate.”

Kurt watched as his Dad moved into the kitchen area while bittersweet warmth and love circled his chest firmly. He watched as his Dad began opening cupboards to find the ingredients, leaving each door open behind him the same way he had when Kurt lived with him back in Ohio. He listened as his Dad started speaking in heatless complaints about the only milk they had being almond milk, and how that was something he’d just have to work with. As Kurt memorised the scene before him to keep for when his Dad had to fly back home, the vibrations in his back pocket were like a gentle shock back into the outside world, where it wasn’t just him and his Dad.

 

**From: eau de craigslist**

**_10:32pm_ **

**you doin okay? ;)**

Kurt smiled, exasperatedly and fondly, before tapping a reply back.

 

**To: eau de craigslist**

**_10:32pm_ **

**I will be ;***

**From: eau de craigslist**

**_10:33pm_ **

**:0**

**To: eau de craigslist**

**_10:33pm_ **

**;)**

**Author's Note:**

> #HummelsDeservedBetter2k18  
> (for real though, their relationship was so important to me, but the writers fucked that up too)
> 
> when sebastian was running over to kurt, picture the friends scene where chandler is running after cathy (its on youtube if you dont know what i mean) just... less dramatic and zero tripping/running over cars.
> 
> lets hope it doesn't take another year for the next one to come out (aka, comment pls&ty)


End file.
